How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatics - 1 to change the bulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness
Calvinists - none, God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change lightbulbs, they simply read the instructions and pray the lightbulb will be the one that is chosen to be changed.
TV evangelists - Only 1, but for the message of light to continue please send your donation....
Christians from independent churches - Only 1, any more might result in too much co-operation
Roman Catholics - none, they always use candles
Anglicans - "Change???"
Baptists - 1 to actually change the bulb and 9 to say how they liked the old one better
Liberals - This statement was issued: we choose not to make a statement either in favour or against the need of a lightbulb. However, if in your journey you have found the lightbulb works for you then that's fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your lightbulb or light source or non-dark resource and present it next month to our annual lightbulb service in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, longlife and tinted - all of which equally valid paths to luminescence.